Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You were trust falling into bushes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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