I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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