I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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