Soap is not a condiment
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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