so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
