Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
