If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
