I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Randomize
