bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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