her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
