Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
