Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
