it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
