her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
