im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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