OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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