After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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