Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
