break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
