guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
