doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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