my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
