rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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