Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
