I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize