He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
