You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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