ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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