I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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