i think my mom watched the whole time
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
