My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
