I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
