I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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