she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Randomize
