For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
