Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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