how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
