Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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