hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
