We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We're too hungover to prance.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
