i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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