I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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