we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
