Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
