We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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