Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wanna go halves on a baby?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
