If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
