Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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