fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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