you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
