pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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