have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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