Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
