He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
