dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize