Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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