who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
