Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
