Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
