I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
